The family that sits together stays together

There is an old Protestant tradition of the family pew. It holds that families should worship together – at home and at church. Therefore, at church, the family should sit together. The result of that was, generally speaking, the family was a stronger unit because of their worship together. The father was the spiritual leader of his family – not just in the home but also in the church. The parents were there to guide, love, comfort and discipline as need be. There are some who are familiar with this tradition who says that this was very influential in the strong family dynamics that were common in Protestant families of years past.
I think it is safe to say that the family unit is under increasing fire and pressure in our day and time. The divorce rate is climbing higher and higher … many children will never know either their mother or their faith – or both … parents have busy schedules that keep them away from home … children have busy schedules that keep them away from home … family time has been reduced due to TVs, DVDs and Ipods. What was once a bedrock has now crumbled. Many times I wonder how much of that is due to the disintegration of the family pew?
Each generation prides itself on how much more “individualistic” it has become. Many times this seems to be code for selfishness. Our society has defined “individualistic” to mean more focus on self – not actual self-realization. The more focused you become on yourself and what makes you happy – and what makes you content – and what makes you feel better about you is what it means to be individualistic. It doesn’t take a genius to realize how quickly this will erode communities and anything that causes a person to give up something for the greater good of the group. It also doesn’t take a genius to see how this idea of “individuality” is tearing apart the family.
One of my concerns is seeing how this is tearing apart the family pew. It has become some unwritten rite of passage that when a child reaches a certain age, then they have “earned” the right to sit with their friends in church. To me, this is code for “I just want to do what makes my child happy”. It is just another symptom of a worldly idea overtaking a heavenly principle and right. Good parents will always ask their child where they are going on a Friday night, who with, for how long and what they will be doing. Yet, the same caution and care isn’t given to the care of their worship. As long as they are happy – or maybe it is just as long as they are there – then that is what matters. No –what ultimately matters is the family pew and the care it provides.
It is in the family pew that the family can gather everything week and worship God. It is in the family pew where the family can bow together and pray. It is in the family pew where families can learn hymns together. It is in the family pew where God’s word can be heard together – and where the sacraments are taken together. The family pew is where family togetherness takes place.
This doesn’t take place when your family is scattered throughout the church. What happens when your child has a question? When they misbehave? When they refuse to fully engage in worship? When they need leadership, and yet are stuck amongst their peers who are looking for the same leadership?
Deuteronomy 6:5-7 “5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” There is a sense of totality to this passage – parents are responsible for their children’s spiritual growth and well being, and the large part of this responsibility is on the shoulders of the father. The Lord tells us that children are a blessing … do we treat them as such? The family pew does – because with blessings comes responsibilities – and parents’ responsibilities are for their children’s spiritual well being. Let me encourage you to make and maintain a family pew – gather your family together in one pew every week, and worship the Lord your God together. Sing together … pray together … come under the means of grace together. This will only serve to strengthen your family – and will be a blessing in your lives. If you are maintaining a family pew, continue to do so, up until your children marry - and maybe your family pew will grow at that time! As a pastor, it warms my heart to see those families that worship together – for I see the covenant community at work. May the Lord continue to bless our families – and our family pews.

Soli Deo Gloria – Pastor James